So I don’t know how else to explain this but to put it down as a pregnancy side effect – though it’s not one that I’ve ever heard of or read in the many, many books on pregnancy that I’ve picked up – but I’m randomly not as afraid of spiders as I used to be. It’s actually quite shocking. I’ve killed 3 spiders (and attempted murder on 1 more… more on that in a bit…) in the past 2 weeks which probably matches the total number of spiders I’ve killed by myself in my entire life.
You might think, “Yeah, well, you’re alone in your house a lot when Alex works, so that would explain it,” except it doesn’t. Only one of those spider-killing-occasions happened when I was alone (and technically, Alex was home it’s just that he was asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up (although I certainly have woken him up in the past to perform that duty). Oh and today’s attempted murder happened while I was alone. But still – the spider today was so big that usually it would be enough to send me screaming. I mean, seriously – it was the size of a ping pong ball and I discovered it when I moved a towel on a pile of towels to be cleaned by the washing machine, so I almost touched it. But instead I backed away, stared at it for a minute (assessing its ability to run at me – it seemed pretty content on the towels), and then grabbed a Swiffer Sweeper and attacked it. Unfortunately, since it was on top of a pile of towels, I have no clue if I even injured it and my bravery didn’t last to the extent that I would actually investigate that. But I have returned to the basement twice since then, which is a huge step for me.
I’m not saying that I’m not afraid of spiders anymore, because I certainly don’t think that’s the case, but I’m not experiencing that visceral feeling of blind panic as a reaction right now – and that’s kind of nice.