Endings and New Beginnings

I hit 38 weeks yesterday and I can’t begin to explain how surreal it feels to have less than 2 weeks left until my due date. I think that I still fully haven’t realized that very soon there will be a whole other little person living here. We are in for such a huge change so soon!

It’s interesting to be so close to the end of my pregnancy over New Years, since this is a time when I’m traditionally pretty introspective. Last year at this time I was thinking of how 2010 was finally being put behind us and trying to focus on the positive things that I could do during a really uncertain time health wise for me. I was awaiting a thyroid biopsy to determine if the large cyst in my throat that I’d recently discovered was cancerous or not. (And after three biopsies early last year, we still don’t have a conclusive answer.) I was also being told by my OB/Gyn that it was probably time to start doing some infertility testing, since it had been almost a year since the miscarriage and we were not having any luck getting pregnant again. So the year started off with me in a very uncertain place. Happily, by mid-year I’d been medicated for my thyroid, undergone testing for infertility and actually started to consult an infertility clinic, only to find out that we’d finally gotten pregnant. And the year only got better from there!

So now 2011 is coming to a close, as is our pre-parenthood life. I’m so thankful for all of the great things that have come our way this year and so excited to embark on this new journey. But unlike most other nine months pregnant girls I know, I’m not super anxious to get this kid out of me. Of course I’m excited to meet Baby K and find out if I’m the proud mother of a daughter or a son, but I’m also just fine if Baby wants to continue baking for a little while longer. It’s not because there’s so much that I want to get done before then, because, while there are a few things that are left on the to-do list, there’s nothing critical that can’t get done after Baby is here. It’s because I’m trying to enjoy the heck out of every last moment we have before it’s not all about us anymore. So we’ve been going out to dinner and enjoying quiet nights on the sofa, both just relaxing and playing with our iPads. Today I’m spending a huge chunk of the day doing absolutely nothing (and loving it). Right now I’m ensconced in bed, propped up by five pillows and my Snoogle. I’m allowing myself to just be lazy and read or surf the web and not worry for now about the laundry that should be done, the clothing to put away, the last finishing touches I want to do in the nursery, or the dishes in the sink.

It sounds so selfish and lazy, but I figure this is my last chance to indulge in myself for a long time. Being a mother will require me to put Baby first, and I know that I’ll happily do that when the time comes, but for now it’s nice to just focus on me. It seems especially fitting to be able to do that today, on the last day of 2011. So as this year, and this part of my life comes to a close, it’s awesome to be able to relax and recognize how happy I feel and lucky I am, and to be able to enter into this New Year and next part of my life content, excited, and ready to embrace all of the wonderful (and challenging) changes to come!

Happy New Year!!

2 thoughts on “Endings and New Beginnings

  1. In order to make definite answer this time the sample should be obtained from the cyst wall, not just from its content.
    Also due to the fact that two formar biopsies fail to provide definite answer insist on Afirma Gene Expression Classifier test!

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